- Madison Beer opened up to Drew Barrymore about her two suicide attempts on Barrymore’s talk show.
- Barrymore told Beer she also tried to take her own life twice.
- Warning: The following story contains details of suicidal ideation.
On Wednesday’s episode of “The Drew Barrymore Show,” 24-year-old singer and TikTok star Madison Beer opened up about her two suicide attempts and why she once told a friend she wanted “temporary death.”
Beer, who first found viral fame when Justin Bieber shared a video of her singing at age 13, told Barrymore that her suicide attempts happened because she was avoiding issues she should have been facing and “putting on this facade” in public.
“One day turned into weeks and months and, honestly, I feel like it was at least a year that I was always in this sort of, like, suicidal ideation mindset, “the “Reckless” singer said, adding that she’d think about ending her life at the end of the day every day until her first attempt, which was “thankfully, obviously unsuccessful.”
Beer told Barrymore that she attempted suicide twice, though the “second time I sort of brush off.”
“It became so normal that sitting on a balcony and debating jumping off was just something that I kind of did,” she continued.
The “Ever After” star applauded Beer for her vulnerability and in turn opened up about her own suicide attempts. “I don’t know if I really wanted to leave the earth. I was so desperate that I did not know where else to turn,” Barrymore said.
Beer told Barrymore that she understood the feeling of not wanting to die forever, but wanting to escape.
“There’s no way to describe it. I always used to say to my best friend, ‘I just want a temporary death, like maybe it’s not forever but right now it’s too much and I want out currently,'” Beer said.
Madison Beer.
JC Olivera/Getty Images
Beer appeared on “The Drew Barrymore Show” to promote her new memoir “The Half of It,” released April 25, and said that reflective writing helped her realize how serious her suicidal thoughts were. In the book, the singer reflects on her suicidal thoughts, substance abuse, online harassment, and self-harm, among other topics.
When her suicide attempts were unsuccessful, Beer said she knew there was a reason for it and began trying to get better because she wanted “to be able to say I made the choice to live.”
Barrymore was emancipated at the age of 14.
Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty
She began doing “a lot of inner child work” and “healing the little girl in me” through therapy and a mental health retreat.
“I started to love myself the way I try to love other people,” said Beer, who has spoken candidly in the past about the “trauma and shame” she experienced when a boy leaked nude photos of her when she was only 14. In 2020, Beer also shared that she was “one year clean of self-harm.”
Barrymore has previously opened up on her talk show about her own mental health and how her harmful thoughts and behavior caused her mother to send her to a psychiatric facility when she was just 13 years old.
As reported by Insider’s Kim Renfro, Barrymore toured the facility where she lived for a year and a half on the season two premiere of her show.
“One minute you’re at movie premieres and clubbing and the next minute you’re in a full-blown institution with barbed wire everywhere and you can’t get out,” Barrymore reflected at the time.
“The Drew Barrymore Show” airs weekdays on CBS. Beer’s memoir “The Half Of It” is available now.
